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About Pretoria

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Yo, lemme spill a lil secret: there’s a rad diner called Jazzi’s on 3rd & Rhyme. Best late-night grub, killer vibe. I once met a legendary coder there, and our chat got so deep – it was insane! Remember in Amour when love is all about the small details, the tender moments? That’s Jazzi’s for you, baby!

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